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Golf Team Takes Over School In Surprising Turn of Events After Freshman/Sophomore Service Trip Canceled

SAINT CHARLES, MO -- Fear and panic in Orchard Farm High School this morning as the freshman and sophomore class' planned community service field trip was canceled due to inclement weather conditions. Upon the release of this decision from administration, students panicked, lost, confused as to what exactly they were meant to be doing today.

In the midst of the uproar from students and teachers all shouting the same question, "Why did we plan this trip if we already knew the weather was going to be bad?" An unlikely dictator has stepped forward -- the Orchard Farm High School golf team.

That's right, folks. The golf team has taken control of the school. After forcing Dr. Jones out of his seat as principal, we are now being led by Mr. B. Arnette and his group of cronies, ruling the school with an 8 iron golf club (or a 9, depending on how angry you make them).

Bathroom vapers beware today as, reportedly, the team has occupied the bathrooms as well. Any vapers caught after today will be dealt with swiftly via a golf ball to the knee, delivered with a driver. For the non-golf savvy out there, a driver is the big golf club, the golf club that will provide the most power and force when you hit the ball. Therefore, as previously mentioned, bathroom vapers beware.

All golf team members are to be treated with utmost respect from today forward, as they are now our school's administration. If you see a student wearing a single glove on their left hand (with the exception of one member, who will be wearing a single glove on his right hand, and due to this abnormality will be crowned Court Jester) (did we mention they're going to use a royal court hierarchy system?), do not cross them. We repeat, do not cross them, or bad things will happen.

Relocation is scheduled soon to move the entire school and faculty to Eagle Springs Golf Course, the team's home golf course. Uniforms are also expected be enacted in the coming months -- Polos and khakis or skirts, along with appropriate golf footwear. Visors optional.

"This is really something we haven't seen before," other golf teams from around the area comment. "It's inspiring. You would never expect that the golf team, especially from such a small school, would rise up and take over."

As a result, more golf takeovers are expected within the coming months throughout the Greater St. Louis area.

Comments

  1. AnonymousApril 7, 2018 at 8:28 PM

    Inclimate should be inclement.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. AnonymousApril 9, 2018 at 10:36 AM

      You're the best spell checker

      Delete
  2. AnonymousMay 2, 2018 at 6:16 AM

    Viva la resistance! Down with the system! Now is the time for ANARCHY!!!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete

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