SAINT CHARLES, MO -- Inspired by her "obscure" interest in satire news source The Onion and her chronic lack of sleep, a local teen has inspired many by creating a "silly" little news website at 10:44pm on a Thursday night.
"I have no recollection of ever even creating it," the girl, who asked not to be named, reports. "I remember finishing my Geography study guide, but after that it's all a blur. I think that maybe I was on one of my kicks where I think I can take on a big project."
As she spoke, she dropped SD cards containing footage of a short film she was planning on creating into her favorite candle and watched them burn. "It happens every few months or so. Then I get sad."
She says that she plans on doing some hard-hitting stories in the future, reporting mainly on the annoyances of everyday life at her small, rural high school. "It's like, have you ever heard of the term 'the gift that keeps on giving?' That's Orchard Farm, except it's the gift that keeps on taking. Specifically, it takes little bits of your soul, until finally you move, graduate, or get expelled, and by then, you're already a changed man."
"I love the people here," she says, watching the plastic SD card wither away, much like her own soul. "The teachers and the students are all great most of the time. But then you have the theatre department."
We asked her to elaborate. Immediately, she climbed out of her window and asked our crew to follow her as they trekked down the highway to her school. Mind you, it was 10:52 at night when they started this voyage, and our reporter Lindsay was getting on the verge of one of her temper tantrums, demanding animal crackers from the gods. Finally, we arrived, however, we were in the middle of a cornfield. There was no school in sight.
"This is the theatre department," she announced, before yodeling what sounded like an ancient tribal call. She then proceeded to grab a pitchfork and jam a bushel of corn onto it, before lighting said bushel on fire through what seemed to be pure force of will, and walking home without waiting for Lindsay.
"I have no recollection of ever even creating it," the girl, who asked not to be named, reports. "I remember finishing my Geography study guide, but after that it's all a blur. I think that maybe I was on one of my kicks where I think I can take on a big project."
As she spoke, she dropped SD cards containing footage of a short film she was planning on creating into her favorite candle and watched them burn. "It happens every few months or so. Then I get sad."
She says that she plans on doing some hard-hitting stories in the future, reporting mainly on the annoyances of everyday life at her small, rural high school. "It's like, have you ever heard of the term 'the gift that keeps on giving?' That's Orchard Farm, except it's the gift that keeps on taking. Specifically, it takes little bits of your soul, until finally you move, graduate, or get expelled, and by then, you're already a changed man."
"I love the people here," she says, watching the plastic SD card wither away, much like her own soul. "The teachers and the students are all great most of the time. But then you have the theatre department."
We asked her to elaborate. Immediately, she climbed out of her window and asked our crew to follow her as they trekked down the highway to her school. Mind you, it was 10:52 at night when they started this voyage, and our reporter Lindsay was getting on the verge of one of her temper tantrums, demanding animal crackers from the gods. Finally, we arrived, however, we were in the middle of a cornfield. There was no school in sight.
"This is the theatre department," she announced, before yodeling what sounded like an ancient tribal call. She then proceeded to grab a pitchfork and jam a bushel of corn onto it, before lighting said bushel on fire through what seemed to be pure force of will, and walking home without waiting for Lindsay.
I'm not like other girls
ReplyDeleteNice!
ReplyDeleteur a wonderful person
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